No Laughing Matter
by forsaken2003
Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.
1. Chapter 1

Title: No Laughing Matter 1/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part One **

Xander didn't mind Spike being right about a lot of things but his knowing Xander better than he did himself really irked him. Xander sat in Spike's chair, pouting.

"Come on, pet. You're not really that pissed are you?" Spike asked with that smirk that made both Xander and the hyena want to smack it off.

"Yes," Xander said while continuing to sulk. "I distinctly remember saying I didn't want to be master of Cleveland. And yet now somehow I am. How did that happen again?"

Spike chuckled. "That would be when we tore Zane's minions apart at your request. Word spreads quickly around the demon world."

Xander huffed. "Well I don't like it. Now when demons come to see you that means me as well. I've got other stuff to do, you know!"

"Can't help you, luv. If you don't show up that's a sign of weakness and the last thing we need is some sodding vampire coming into our territory and trying to take over," Spike replied. "You just have to suck it up."

"Suck it up my ass," Xander growled. "You could have told me what I was getting into when I made that decision. And don't you dare act like you didn't know!"

Spike sidled closer to Xander, resting his butt on the desk. "I may have suspected." He went in for a kiss but was greeted with snapping teeth. Great, the bitch was pissed off too. "No sex then?"

"No sex," Xander confirmed. He stood up. "Besides, I have to get to work. Why are you up so early anyway?"

"Sex."

"Figures," Xander said, rolling his eyes.

Spike followed Xander while he collected his jacket. "So how long are you going to be mad at me? More importantly how bloody long am I going without sex?" He had to dodge out of the way as Xander went to open the front door.

"If you're good maybe a week," Xander said. As he opened the front door an envelope dropped to the ground. "What the…?" He picked it up. His name was scribbled on the envelope with no return address.

"What is it?" Spike asked from the safety of the shadows.

Xander ripped open the end. "Probably a flyer for the next mayor."

"Why isn't my name on it?" Spike asked annoyed.

"Because you don't exist in the human world, babe," Xander reminded him. He blew the end open and was assaulted by a white powder. It was inhaled. Xander stumbled back, coughing.

Spike slammed the door closed and caught Xander before he fell onto the floor. "Xan? What's wrong?"

Xander rolled over, dry heaving. "Fuck." He took a few deep breaths. "I'm fine, just some punk kid playing a prank."

"Some prank, practically killed you!" Spike exclaimed as he helped Xander stand up. "You all right, Xan?"

Xander stood on wobbly legs. "Yeah. I'm good. Fuck, now I'm late for work!"

"Fuck work! Maybe you should stay home. You don't even know what the hell that stuff was," Spike said, sounding and looking worried.

"I'm fine." Xander kissed Spike. He ignored the fact that the hyena was screaming inside his head. She'd calm down soon enough. "But because of all your worry I think I'll let you off the hook for making me a master."

"Are you sure you should go, pet?" Spike asked. His gut was telling him that this was more than some kind of prank.

Xander smiled. He loved Spike being so protective of him. "Yes, it's nice that you care though."

Spike pulled Xander against him. "Course I care. You're my mate," he said with a possessive growl.

A shiver ran down Xander's spine. God he loved it when Spike called him that. "Tonight when I get home how about we go for a hunt? The hyena is begging for one." He ignored the fact that she was screaming for him to let her out. To let Spike know something wasn't right.

"A hunt?" Spike perked up. Hunting always led to shagging. "Brilliant. Off with you!"

Xander was having a problem staying focused on his work. He had an idea for a blueprint but it was like his brain was fogged over. Five cups of coffee and he still wasn't his peppy self. The hyena was also bitchier than ever.

"Alex?" John asked, startling Xander who hadn't even realized he had spaced out. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Just trying to get this blueprint going," Xander replied and looked back down at his paper to find that he hadn't even started.

John walked in to see that Xander's lack of progress, which was strange because when Xander set his mind to something he did it. "You've got plenty of time. The boss is gone for a month. Besides I have no doubt that you can do it," John said and slapped Xander on the back.

Xander oofed from the contact as the wind was knocked out of him. Something that shouldn't have happened since John was fifty-six years old and weighed maybe hundred and nineteen pounds. Xander shook it off; maybe he was just coming down with something.

The hyena continued to scream. Xander didn't get sick. _They_ didn't get sick. Why wasn't Xander listening?

"You're not looking well, Alex," John commented and placed a hand on Xander's forehead. He had six kids and he was more than experienced to realize when someone was sick. "You're burning up. Head home and get some rest."

Xander opened his mouth to protest but between John and the hyena he just decided to do as John said. "Yeah, thanks. I'm sure whatever this is, is just a twenty-four hour bug." And why was it that Xander wasn't even believing that?

Spike knew something was wrong the second he heard Xander pull into the driveway. He met Xander at the door. "Bloody hell," Spike gasped. "What the fuck happened to you?" Xander stumbled through the door, falling into Spike's arms, which started to smoke.

Xander was pale, almost as pale as Spike. Sweat dripped from his forehead while he shivered. "Something's wrong."

"No shit," Spike replied dryly. He took all of Xander's weight and carried him to their bedroom.

"Magic." The voice wasn't Xander's.

Spike groaned. The hyena. This wasn't going to be good. "Magic?" He laid them down on the bed and pulled a quilt up over Xander. "That powder?"

The hyena rolled Xander's eyes. "Of course it was the powder!" she growled but it wasn't as intimidating at it should have been. It was weak. That wasn't a good sign.

"No need to get snippy," Spike said. "Why didn't you say something before I let the boy walk out the bloody door?"

"Because our boy is stubborn," the hyena said and it took Spike all his energy not to say that Xander was _his _boy. He didn't like to share.

Spike ran his hand through Xander's damp hair. "Do you know what that stuff was?" The hyena was quiet and instantly Spike knew that she did. "What is it? If you bloody well know something you fucking tell me now! This isn't about you, it's about Xan, and I'll be damned again if I let you or anyone take him away from me!"

"That's where you're wrong," the hyena stated. Bright green eyes flickered.

"What the hell does that mean?" Spike demanded.

The hyena stared at Spike. "This has nothing to do with Xander. He is just a mere casualty."

Spike had to stop himself from wrapping his hand around Xander's neck and just wringing the answer out of him. "Stop with the fucking cryptics!"

"It is ancient magic, something I thought was lost," the hyena started. "It's a powder that can drive a spirit from its host."

"Wait a minute," Spike held up his hands. "You and Xander both said there was no way for that to happen. That you when you merged you were stuck."

The hyena nodded. "That's what I thought. I never expected someone would find this."

"All right, fine. A mistake on your part but let's get back to this magic. What exactly is happening?" Spike asked. He needed to focus on the problem.

"The powder is exorcising me from Xander's body. Whoever is responsible for this will become my new host," the hyena explained. "I will have no control like I do with Xander. They will be my master.

Spike stood up and began to pace. As much as he loved annoying the hyena, Spike had grown attached to her. She was a part of Xander. "And Xander? He'll be okay? Just not as strong as he is with you?"

"We've been together for too long. I'm a part of him… like an organ. Without me he'll die."


	2. Chapter 2

Title: No Laughing Matter 2/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Two**

Spike thought he was going to be sick. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," the hyena replied.

"What do we have to do to fix this? Who do I kill?" Spike asked. The hyena's eyes dulled a little. "How much time do we have?"

The hyena blinked several times. She tried to focus. "We need to find the person who has placed the spell. It has to be someone that knows about the possession."

"How long do we have?" Spike growled.

"Forty-eight hours at the most," the hyena replied.

Spike really hated magic.

Spike got on the phone with Giles and explained the situation. Giles quickly said that they would all be on the next flight to Cleveland. He also told Spike not to worry, that they would figure it out. How much did Spike want to believe that?

"Spike?" Xander called. His voice was hoarse and his throat was dry.

"I'm here, luv." Spike rushed back in, happy to see that it was Xander back. "How are you feeling?" He placed a glass of orange juice against Xander's lips.

Xander drank it down greedily, not caring that some dribbled down his chin. He gasped for breath. "Truthfully?"

"Yes," Spike replied.

"Like I'm dying," Xander said. He closed his eyes; they were so heavy. "Do you think she's right? Do you think I'll die without her?"

Spike curled himself around Xander. "She's been around a long time."

"That's a yes without saying it," Xander mumbled. "Is the gang coming? I-I want to say goodbye. In person I mean. We've been through a lot together, you know?"

"They'll be here in a few hours. And don't bloody talk like that. You're not going anywhere. Neither is the bitch," Spike told Xander.

A small smile was forced onto Xander's cracked lips. "You know she hates it when you call her that."

"Then I guess she'll have to stick around to kick my arse, won't she?" Spike asked with a smirk. "Means you'll have to stick around to play peace keeper."

"Not sure about that, Spike. This could be my time. Look how much I've survived. I've been too lucky. I was stupid to think that the hyena would always protect me."

"Don't bloody talk like that!" Spike hissed. "You're going to be fine. I'm not going to lose you. Not after all we've been through."

Xander brought his hand up and brushed blond locks from Spike's forehead. "We make a good pair, don't we?"

"Could turn you now," Spike offered. "Earlier than we planned but…"

"It wouldn't help, Spike," Xander interrupted. "I still need her." A large shiver wracked his body. "The gang will come, won't they Spike?"

Spike choked back a sob as Xander fell asleep. "Yeah, luv. They'll be here."

By the time Scoobies arrived, Spike had smoked a pack and a half of cigarettes.

"Where is he?" Willow demanded. "How is he?"

"In the bedroom resting. He's not doing too well," Spike told her. He stopped her from going in there. "Let him be, yeah?"

Willow wanted to argue but Giles stepped in. "As much as it pains me to say it, Spike's right. We need to get to work."

"Do you have any new information, Spike?" Buffy asked. She was still getting used to the fact that one of her best friends was not just dating but mated to Spike, but seeing how upset Spike was she knew that he really did care for Xander.

"I talked to the hyena. She said whoever is responsible knew what happened. She also said…" Spike had to pause he didn't want to say the words.

Tara placed a hand on Spike's arm, comforting him. "I-It's okay, S-Spike. We'll stop whatever's going on."

Spike shook his head. "If we don't stop this and Xander loses the hyena he's going to die."

"No!" Willow wailed and stumbled back. Buffy caught her from falling to the floor.

"We won't let that happen, Wills," Buffy promised. "We'll find the son of a bitch that is responsible for this and stop him. Just like we always do."

Giles pulled his glasses off and began to clean them. "Not that many people knew of the possession. Of course we do. Angel and Cordelia may know. The other students were possessed as well, but I don't see it being them, not after they became themselves again."

Spike stared at each of them. Could one of Xander's friends be responsible for this?

Willow instantly knew what Spike was thinking and was outraged. "We would never hurt Xander!"

"You weren't happy about him still having the hyena with him," Spike stated. "Maybe one of you found this missing spell and decided to get rid of her. Get yourselves more power on top of getting your Xander back. Hate that he isn't the normal one anymore, that one who didn't need saving. Only maybe you didn't realize that it would kill Xander," Spike continued to accuse.

"Spike," Xander said weakly. He held onto the stair railing. "None of them are responsible for this. They'd never do something like this." Xander's knees buckled but Spike was there before he could crumble to the floor.

Spike held Xander close. "I know. It would be so much easier if was. I could fix you up in no time."

"Xander," Willow said, tears filling her eyes. He looked horrible. He was so pale and his eyes almost sunken in. It had only been less than twenty-four hours. "You look…good," she lied.

"No, I don't," Xander replied. "I look like I have one foot in the grave. I'm just waiting for that last push."

Buffy was in Xander's face. She wouldn't let him talk like that. "Don't say that!" she ordered. "Don't say that," she whispered.

"You should be in bed," Giles chided. He hated seeing Xander like this. Xander was always so energetic and now he could hardly hold himself up without assistance. It just wasn't right.

Spike picked up Xander with much argument. "If you want to talk then you are at least going to lie down."

Tara smiled at how careful Spike was with Xander. "S-Spike's right. You can't be wasting your energy."

Xander sighed. He knew they were right but he didn't like being so weak. He was used to being strong. Spike climbed the stairs to their room, the Scoobies at his heels. Gently Xander was placed back in bed, his pillow fluffed. If Xander didn't feel like death he would have enjoyed the pampering.

The hyena started talking to Xander. Telling him how sorry she was that she couldn't protect him. She sounded so weak. So lost.

"Not your fault. Never your fault," Xander said, his throat closing up. He loved her and the thought of her becoming some sort of slave made him sick.

As the Scoobies looked confused by the comments, Spike understood what Xander was doing. "What's she saying, luv?"

"That she's sorry that she couldn't protect me," Xander replied. A single tear slid down his pale cheek. "She's so weak, Spike. So weak and lost. We have to help her. She doesn't want to go; she doesn't want to leave me. Leave us."

"She's not going anywhere. We've got the best researchers we could have," Spike told him. He wanted his confident Xander back.

"Not only the best researchers but the best at killing things. Especially things that hurt the people we love," Buffy said. And whoever or whatever was responsible for this was going to have one serious beat down.


	3. Chapter 3

Title: No Laughing Matter 3/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Three**

"What do we do, Giles?" Willow asked. She was normally good at thinking under pressure but with her Xander so close to death her mind couldn't work properly.

"I suggest that we look into the other students who were possessed," Giles said. "Willow, get on your contraption and locate where they are now."

Buffy frowned. "You just said they probably wouldn't want a possession again though."

"Just because I said I didn't think they would doesn't mean they wouldn't. Do you really want to just assume it's not them and when it's too late and we find out they were responsible there won't be a bloody thing we can do about it?" Giles snapped. Xander was one of his children and he'd be damned if he would lose him because of some mistake he made! He looked at Buffy whose eyes were huge and teary. "I-I'm sorry. All I meant is that we cannot take any chances."

"I know," Buffy said, giving him a small smile. "Let's get researching."

Spike turned to Xander, who had fallen asleep. He ran the pad of his thumb across Xander's dry lips. "We'll find out who's responsible for this, luv. Then I'll do what I do best and kick some bloody arse." Xander's response was horrible shudders that wracked his body and a low moan. It caught everyone's attention and they all stared at their friend. Spike finally snarled at them. "Don't you gits have something to be doing?"

Tara and Willow immediately went to work on the names of the other students who had been possessed by hyenas while Giles with the help of Buffy went through books on how to reverse a spell for a possession transfer.

Everyone tried to ignore the tired growls that came from Xander. The hyena was a fighter. She'd never lost a fight and she wasn't about to lose Xander or Spike! She'd been around for thousands of years looking for someone who made her feel complete she couldn't lose that now.

The hyena fell asleep and began to dream. She had her own dreams. When she and Xander were asleep that was the only time they had alone. She sometimes dreamed of the days back with her original pack. Back when life was easy and made sense. Before she was transferred into Xander and found Spike. Her mate. Mostly she dreamed of Spike and Xander. How lucky she had been to find them.

This dream wasn't either. This dream was different; something was definitely wrong.

No one noticed that Xander's eyes twitched.

_Xander was there and a mystical fog wrapped itself around him. Suffocating him. The hyena watched as it seemed to devour Xander. Watched on as Xander struggled to get away but it was useless. The hyena wanted to help but she was paralyzed. A chain was wrapped around her neck restraining her._

_A figure appeared wearing a dark cloak with a hood that covered the stranger's face. He made the hyena's fur stand up on end. "I've come so close and failed. But soon it will be all over. And I will have what's rightfully mine." The voice was raspy. A voice that didn't sound familiar. He stood in front of Xander. "You took what was mine. What I should have had years ago. But no longer, she will be mine."_

"_She doesn't belong to anyone," Xander wheezed. The mist entered his mouth and nose, choking him. _

Spike was the first to notice the change in Xander. Xander's fingers clawed at his throat as he gasped for breath. "Xander!" Spike yelled, drawing everyone's attention.

"What's w-wrong?" Tara asked fearfully.

"Don't know," Spike muttered as he shook Xander, trying to wake him. "Come on, Xan. Wake up!"

Willow wanted to go to her friend but knew there was nothing she could do. The only help she could give was to find out what happened to Kyle, Rhonda, Tor and Heidi.

_The hyena watched as Xander struggled to breathe. Struggled to live. She snarled and snapped her teeth at the man. Her strength was leaving her and she could see the man getting more powerful by the minute._

"_You actually became attached to this boy?"_

"_He's not just a boy. He's special. I'm meant to be with him and no one else," the hyena snarled. _

_The man laughed. "He was special out of that bunch of disappointments. But that doesn't matter. Soon we'll be merged and he'll be dead. Justice I think," the figure said. He made his way over to the hyena, showing no fear when she snapped her teeth it him. "You're much more ferocious then I originally thought." She could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll see you soon." And he was gone, along with the fog and chain._

_Xander fell to his knees coughing and wheezing. The hyena ran to him and nuzzled her head against his. "They will find a way to save you."_

"_Save us," Xander corrected and rested against the hyena's soft fur. _

Xander bolted upright and proceeded to vomit. Tears streamed down his eyes. It was all too much. He was going to lose Spike and the hyena. He'd die and they'd live on. One alone and the other a slave. "Wrong. Wrongwrongwrongwrong," Xander chanted. "It's all wrong."

Spike ripped the blanket off Xander; he'd deal with the mess after he knew Xander was all right. "What's not right, luv? What is it?"

"Never shared one before. Not right. No….no….no…" Xander repeated.

Spike took hold of Xander and shook him gently. "Come on, Xan. You need to tell us what's wrong. You had a nightmare?"

"Not a nightmare," Xander said. "A message."

Spike had been able to coax Xander to rest some more. He'd wrapped Xander in a clean blanket before tossing the soiled linens in the washer. Deciding that Xander needed some peace, Spike ushered everyone into the living room.

"Do you really think this guy got into Xander's mind?" Buffy asked.

"Not only Xander's but the h-hyena's as well," Tara added. "But why?"

Giles set his book on his lap. "If I were to guess it would be to torment them."

"Looks like he's doing a bang up job," Spike snarled. "What have you found out about those gits you all went to school with? And I swear if you say nothing I'm tossing you all out on your arses and I'll figure it out myself!"

"Yeah and how are you going to do that, bleach head? You're the one that called us, remember?" Buffy shot back. "Some master vampire you are!" Buffy was right in Spike's face.

"Buffy," Willow said and went to interfere but Tara held her back.

Ridges appeared on Spike's forehead. "The only reason you're in my city, in my home is because of Xander. He wanted to say goodbye to you! Said it wouldn't be proper to do it over the phone after all the shit you've been through together," he yelled. Spike huffed and puffed. "So if you aren't going to do your do-gooder crap and help me save Xander then get out and I will find someone who will."

"We are going to help him," Buffy said, backing down. She understood how Spike was feeling. Helpless, and the only thing he felt he could do was lash out.

Spike tightly closed his eyes. He wouldn't let Buffy see his tears. "Tell me we've got something."

"We've got something," Willow automatically said. "Well not so much got something as got the dirt on the others who were possessed."

Everyone gathered around Willow except Giles who had the arm of his glasses in his mouth. Thinking.

"What did you find?" Spike demanded.

"You're not going to be happy," Willow warned Spike. She watched as he balled up his fists before she continued. Spike would never hurt her, Willow knew that. Well, she hoped.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: No Laughing Matter 4/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Four**

"What did you find, Wills?" Buffy asked worriedly.

Willow bit her bottom lip. "Kyle DuFours and Heidi Barrie were killed during graduation."

"Th-they helped in the fight?" Tara asked.

"No. Their remains were found in a janitor's closet," Willow replied, her nose wrinkled up in disgust.

"Couldn't have happened to two nicer people," Buffy commented. She ignored everyone's stares. "What about the other two?"

Willow typed into her computer. "Tor Hauer was arrested last year in Los Angeles for a B&E in a liquor store. He's in jail serving a six year sentence."

"Six years?" Spike asked with disbelief. "Little extremely for a bloody B&E, isn't it?"

"A year was for the B&E. The other five is for assaulting the arresting officers," Willow said and leaned in closer. "Ouch, Tor took one of the officer's batons and used it to break the officer's ribs."

Spike's leg was vibrating. "So it's the other one? The bint?"

Green eyes look up at Spike. Willow shook her head. "Rhonda Kelley moved to Las Vegas and is now a stripper married to a pit boss."

"And it couldn't be her why?" Buffy asked. She loved Willow but Willow could be very annoying.

"Because she isn't smart enough for a trick like this," Giles said. He looked at all of them. "You took what was mine. What I should have had years ago. But no longer, she will be mine," he repeated what Xander had told them the man had spoken.

"Thanks for the recap, Watcher," Spike said. He pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips. "Is there a reason you're quoting Xander or were you feeling neglected?"

Giles glared. "Do you want to hear what I have to say or would you prefer I keep it to myself and let Xander suffer for your foolishness?"

Spike clamped his mouth shut.

"What Xander said, obviously it's someone who knew Xander was possessed not only by a hyena but by the pack leader. Even if anyone outside of us did realize he was possessed most likely didn't know about that," Giles continued.

"That doesn't explain why you are assuming Rhonda can't be the one responsible," Buffy said. She always trusted what Giles said but she needed some proof to back it up.

Giles sighed. "Who was the one who knew about that the hyenas to begin with?" Everyone just stared at him, waiting for the answer. "The zookeeper, I believe his name was Dr. Weirick."

"Ummm… Giles?" Willow interrupted. "I think you forgot but he fell into the hyena pit and was eaten."

"Was he? Did any of us actually check that he was in fact dead?" Giles asked.

Spike stood and headed for the stairs.

"W-where are you going, Spike?" Tara asked standing with everyone and following him up the stairs.

"Maybe the hyena will know," Spike answered. He opened the door only to find Xander crumpled on the floor. "Xander!" Spike dashed forward, fell to his knees beside Xander, and turned him over. He ignored the scent of urine. Obviously Xander had been on his way to the bathroom before he collapsed.

Buffy entered and her nose wrinkled up. "What's that smell?" She was elbowed hard in the ribs shockingly by Tara. "Sorry."

"Come on, Xander, wake up," Spike patted Xander's cheek gently. Blurry eyes opened. Dull hazel eyes stared almost lifelessly at him. "What happened, luv?"

"I needed to use the bathroom," Xander replied. His breath was shallow. Forty-eight hours? Bullshit.

Spike turned the Scoobies. "Get out."

"Spike, we need to ask…." Willow was cut off.

"That can wait half an hour. I need to get him cleaned up. Any of you have a problem with that you know where the bloody door is," Spike said and he picked up Xander. Much too light. Fucking magic. Spike feared that he would be too rough, that he would break Xander.

There were no arguments and Giles ushered them out of the room.

Spike carried Xander into the bathroom and set him unsteadily on the toilet. "We'll get you all cleaned up," Spike murmured.

"I can hardly feel her," Xander whispered. He looked up at Spike who was staring at him. "It's like she's fading into the fog. I don't want to lose her, Spike. I can't, and I don't mean just because I'll die. She's done so much for me and I can't do a damn thing to help her." Tears of frustration and pain burned Xander's eyes.

Spike turned the shower on and helped Xander out of his soiled clothes. "You are as much of a victim as she is. But we think we've got a piece of the puzzle. Let's get you cleaned up and then we'll talk, yeah?"

Xander nodded and slumped back. He let Spike maneuver him into the shower; the hot water felt so good on his sore and tight muscles. Spike leaned Xander against the shower wall and quickly but thoroughly washed him. They needed to get down and see the others. If it was this Dr. Weirick wanker they needed to find him and find some way to reverse the curse.

If Xander hadn't been so weak he probably would have been taking advantage of Spike right about now, but apparently he couldn't get it up if his life depended on it. "How much time do I have left?"

"Roughly eighteen hours," Spike replied.

"The spell is more heavy duty than we thought." It wasn't a question.

Spike grunted in reply.

"What will you do?" Xander asked.

"Kill the bastard. Hopefully that will break the spell," Spike replied. He ran a wet cloth over Xander's chest.

"He'll be stronger than a human with her," Xander said. Spike had already thought of that. "And that's not what I was talking about."

Spike couldn't look Xander in the eyes. It hurt too much to see him like this. "He'll be no match for a master vampire, a slayer and two witches. The bastard has no idea what he's up against." Spike went silent for a minute. "What are you talking about?" Of course he already knew.

"When…if I die. What will you do?" Xander clarified. He tried to keep his eyes on Spike but they were so heavy. He did however feel Spike tense up.

"I haven't thought about it," Spike replied. He washed Xander's arms next.

Xander snorted. "Liar. I know you. You're always thinking."

"I don't want to think about it. I don't want to talk about it," Spike said firmly. Now he was on Xander's lower extremities.

"What would you like to talk about then? The weather?" Xander managed to spit out. He still had some fight in him. That was a good sign. "Will you cry? Will you feel like a piece of you died with me?"

Spike's head snapped up, eyes yellow and cold. "Do you even have to ask?" Spike yelled. He brought his hand up and punched the wall inches away from Xander's head, cracking it. "Just a piece? Try my whole fucking being! If you die there will be nothing left for me here." Tears streamed down his cheeks. "You run through my bloody veins. I can feel you dying inside of me," Spike told him and placed a hand over his heart. "It's killing me to have this happening to you." He wiped his face and finished washing Xander up.

"Spike…" Xander wanted to apologize.

"We should go see the others," Spike said, cutting him off. "We need to finish this and get you back to your annoying self." He turned off the water before he stepped out of the shower and helped Xander out. He dried them both and dressed them in silence before picking Xander up and carrying him downstairs. Willow and Tara sat on the couch. "Get off!" he barked at them earning him a double eep as they scurried off. Spike ignored Xander's and Buffy's glares. Once Xander was settled on the couch a blanket on his lap Spike turned to the others. "Who is this Dr. Wanker?"

Giles rolled his eyes. "His name was… is Dr. Weirick. He had shipped the pack of hyenas to the Sunnydale Zoo in hopes of collecting their spirits. Plans went to hell in a hand-basket when Xander and the others retrieved them."

"Know that, Watcher. What else?" Spike asked as he paced the room. He was still fuming from Xander's accusations and had no doubt Xander knew.

"His plan was to gather the children back using Willow as a sacrifice. When he was able to collect all the spirits or so he thought, Xander attacked him and Buffy managed to toss him into the hyena pit where we had assumed he was killed," Giles explained, almost babble-like.

Spike snorted. "And none of you twits thought to take two seconds out of your day to make sure he was dead?" he huffed in annoyance.

"Yes, we wanted to get close to the demonic like hyenas so we could be their dessert," Buffy shot back annoyed.

Xander wheezed and coughed. Spike was right, they should have checked. The raspy voice in his dream would make sense. It sounded as if someone had their vocal cords damaged. Visions of that day went through Xander's mind. He looked up a smile on his face. "I know how to stop him."


	5. Chapter 5

Title: No Laughing Matter 5/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Five **

"You're bloody delusional!" Spike exploded. "You're bonkers."

"Spike, it's the only way to stop him," Xander explained. He watched his friends stare at him in horror. "It's a good plan."

Spike scoffed. "Have you forgotten the part where you die?"

"But the hyena will be safe. She'll be with you," Xander said. "Neither of you will be alone. Ever."

"You honestly think this spell the bastard did all those years ago will work? That the hyena will go into me? I'm not even alive!"

Xander wanted to roll his eyes but it seemed like too much effort. "She'll accept you. You'll accept her," Xander said. "If I have to die then think of this as my last request. At least my pack will still be together. "

"Xander, you don't even know if Spike's demon will accept her!" Willow exclaimed. "They are both alphas."

"Oh, they'll fight," Xander agreed. "But they'll love every fucking minute of it."

Spike fell to his knees in front of where Xander lay. "No. What part of you not dying do you not understand?"

"There's no other way," Xander brought his hand up shakily and brushed his fingers over Spike's cheek. "Willow can do a locator spell and find out where he's hiding out. You guys do a stakeout and when he leaves Giles will draw the markings on the floor, dress up Spike in the paint, and whatever else is needed. And then when the trans-possession is done and he comes back you take back the hyena and kill that fucker."

"There has to be another way," Buffy said softly.

Giles cleared his throat, which had tightened. "It's a good plan."

Spike growled and before anyone could stop him he had Giles slammed up against a wall. "You have no fucking problem using him as a scapegoat, do you? He's not your charge so why should you care!"

"That's not what I am saying!" Giles tried to yell but it came out more as a choking sound.

Buffy grabbed Spike by the shoulder and threw him across the room. "We all care about Xander!"

"Everyone stop!" Xander cried out. "I don't want my last minutes with you fighting."

"Xander." Spike picked himself up off the floor. "I'm not letting you sacrifice yourself so the bitch and I won't be alone. What is she saying to you? What's she telling you?"

Xander looked away. "Nothing. There are only whimpers now. I can see her, Spike. She's in so much pain. I can't be the one responsible for that."

"You aren't, Xander," Willow said. "Dr. Weirick is responsible for all of this."

"Th-there has to be another way," Tara whispered.

Giles began to pace the room. Of course he didn't want Xander to die. He was like a son to him. But if Dr. Weirick combined with the hyena he would be stronger and lord knows what destruction he would do. They couldn't let that happen. "Xander, how long will you have after the hyena leaves you?"

"I don't know," Xander replied. "I didn't think to ask her. We just assumed it would be instant." His eyes closed and his head fell backwards before it snapped back up and his eyes opened as if he had just fallen asleep for a second. "What?"

"I asked how long you will have after she leaves you," Giles repeated patiently.

"I don't know. I didn't think to ask her. We just assumed it would be instant," Xander repeated without realizing it.

Spike stared at Giles. "You think he could last a bit?"

"It's a possibility," Giles replied. "After all people who are brain dead are still theoretically alive."

"So theoretically," Buffy did air quotation marks. "Instead of Spike getting the trans-possession if Xander is still alive he could be re-possessed?"

Giles nodded. "But only if he is able to say the words."

Willow raised her hand. "I don't mean to be a downer in this plan but we don't have the spell. I mean that was five years ago!"

"Quite the opposite actually," Giles said. "As a watcher I documented everything. That includes the spell."

"Tell me you brought the diary," Spike begged.

Giles rummaged through the pile of books. "Ah ha! When you told us about the hyena I had hoped that it would come in handy."

"Bloody brilliant!" Spike snatched Giles and planted a kiss on his lips. "Now how do we do a locator spell on this prick? We don't have anything of his."

"Wasn't the powder in an envelope?" Willow asked. "Technically that did belong to him, didn't it?"

Spike was immediately in front of Willow, arms wrapped around her waist as he swung her around. When he set her back down Spike placed his hands on her cheeks and pulled her in for a kiss.

Willow pulled away and smacked his chest. "Hey! Gay now!" She huffed and stomped over to Tara and gripped her hand.

"You are brilliant, Red!" Spike declared. "You may just be the one to save my Xanpet's life."

Xander glared. "Um… hello? My plan. Remember?"

"No, your plan was to die," Spike reminded him. He turned to the others. "Well, get on with it! Get the supplies we need to do this so I can have my Xan back and you lot out of my city!"

"I'm sure what Spike meant to say was 'Thank you'," Xander said with a small smile.

Spike growled. "I'll thank them after they help us!"

"Come, girls. I know of a magic shop near here where we can get everything we need. We also need to pick up a map of Cleveland to pinpoint out exactly where Dr. Weirick is."

Xander watched as Giles ushered them out. He knew all of them didn't need to go but they were giving him and Spike what could be their last time together alone. "Lie with me?" Xander asked. "Just rest awhile?"

"Yeah, luv. We can do that," Spike smiled and curled up with Xander. "How are you feeling?"

"Weak," Xander answered softly. "I don't think I can walk at all anymore."

"I'll carry you," Spike replied. "And our girl, how's she doing?"

Xander shook his head. "It's like she's not there. Like she's astral projecting. Her body is in here," he tapped the side of his head. "But nothing else."

"We'll get her back," Spike said. "Haven't let you down yet, have I?"

"No," Xander replied. "How much longer do you figure I've got?"

Spike nuzzled Xander's throat. His heartbeat was almost faint. "Few hours so those friends of yours better move their arses or I'm gonna kill 'em."

"No killing my friends," Xander ordered. "They'll be here in time. We always save the world at the very last minute. It's kind of our thing."

"Don't give a toss about the rest of the world. Only thing I bloody care about is you," Spike said and kissed Xander's throat. "If the world had to burn for you to live I'd say let it burn."

Xander chuckled lightly. "Yeah, well I don't think the world burning would be very good for a vampire so let's not go there." He went quiet and Spike realized that Xander had fallen asleep or passed out. The others needed to return soon.

The others came back thirty minutes later. Spike told them to do what needed to be done quietly, that Xander needed his rest. While Willow and Tara did the locator spell Giles painted the blue and white skull onto Xander's face and then helped Spike get the blue robe around Xander's frame.

"I have a question," Buffy asked with a whisper. "Why didn't Dr. Weirick just do this spell again?"

"I have to assume he couldn't find a way to lure Xander away. Also this ancient spell, it would make sense that he is getting off on the pain he is causing. No doubt that he can feel it through the hyena," Giles replied. "And when Xander and the hyena are merged that spell wouldn't be strong enough to destroy that bond."

Buffy glowered. "That sick fuck."

"I can't bloody wait to give him a taste of his own medicine," Spike growled.

"Spike, we can't torture him," Giles said reproachfully.

Spike stared at Giles with yellow eyes. "Who said anything about we? This is my city. My mate. I can do any goddamn thing I want to him! I could turn him and torture him until I grow bored of doing it!"

Buffy shuddered. She'd never seen Spike like this. Not even when it came to Drusilla.

"We've got him!" Willow yelled which earned her a glare. "We've got him," she repeated in a whisper. "Apparently he's got himself a mansion on the east side of the city."

Spike picked up Xander. "Let's go."

"I-I have a question," Tara said while they piled into their rental van. "What if Dr. Weirick doesn't leave his home? Then what?"

"Oh," Willow said looking defeated.

"Then we draw him out," Spike said simply. He turned to Tara. "And you're the bait."


	6. Chapter 6

Title: No Laughing Matter 6/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Six**

"Spike, I can't believe you are using my girlfriend as bait!" Willow said for the fifth time.

"She's the only one this bastard doesn't know. She can lure him out, giving us enough time to set up," Spike replied for the fifth time. "Besides how many times did you lot use Xander as bait?"

Willow didn't answer instead she worried her lip. "We could have thought of something else. We had time."

"What bloody dimension are you living in?" Spike asked with a growl. "We are all but out of time!"

Buffy stepped in. "It doesn't matter now. We have no time for another plan and Tara has agreed to do it! So everyone just shut up."

Everyone was quiet except Xander who was wheezing heavily.

Tara took a deep breath before knocking on Dr. Weirick's front door. Would she really be able to lure him out? The painting of the symbol would take only a few minutes but how long until the possession was complete and how long did that leave Xander? The door opened, startling her. She could do this.

"What?" Dr. Weirick growled. How the hell did someone find him? He didn't have time for visitors.

"D-Dr. Weirick?" Tara asked, stumbling through her words.

Dr. Weirick glared at the girl. "What the hell do you want?

"I-I'm sorry to bother you but I need your help," Tara told him.

"I'm a busy man; I have no time for a slip of a girl like you!" Dr. Weirick started to close the door but Tara stopped him.

"Not e-even for the statue o-of Ablis?" Tara asked.

Dr. Weirick stared at Tara in disbelief. "You don't have the statue of Ablis!"

Tara nodded. "I do. My mother recently died and while I was going through her possessions I found it. She was a-a witch."

"Do you realize what it is that you have? How powerful and priceless that is?" Dr. Weirick asked. "With that statue you can take control of anyone!"

"I have an idea but I'm n-not very knowledgeable about this specific item. I was hoping you could help. If not there is another person in Wichita that I am sure will be happy to help me," Tara said and began to turn to leave.

Dr. Weirick grabbed her arm, stopping her. "Where is it?"

"I left it in my hotel room," Tara said. "I just need to know if it's real. I-I am hoping to sell it. For the right price, of course."

"Can you wait until tomorrow morning?" Dr. Weirick asked. He wanted the item but he didn't want to leave his home until the possession was complete. "Or bring it here for me?"

Tara shook her head. "I'm sorry I can't. I'd prefer the meeting to be at my premises." She shrugged. "I'll just go to Wichita. I'm sure the man will be more interested in it than you."

"No!" Dr. Weirick yelled. "How far is your hotel from here?" he asked.

"Ten minutes," Tara said. "I-I really need to know if what I have is real."

Dr. Weirick nodded. "I'll give you half an hour of my time. If it's real we'll talk price."

"Follow me," Tara said and turned from him. She walked to her rented car. When she turned the car on she revved the engine two times before taking off, signaling the others. She did her job and hopefully it was enough time for the others.

"She did it!" Willow said excitedly. "That's my girl."

"Can you be proud of her after we save Xander?" Spike asked, annoyed. He was already out of the van, Xander cradled in his arms. The blue and white paint was slightly smeared from sweat. "Watcher, get to it already!" He barked.

Giles led the way to the back door to jimmy it open. Sometimes his past really did come in handy, no matter how many things he regretted. There was a loud click and he pushed the door open.

They all entered the house; Willow and Buffy manned the windows keeping an eye out while Giles began to paint the symbols.

"Xan, pet, come on. Time to wake up. Not long before this bastard comes back and the re-possession is complete.

"Too tired, Spike," Xander said. "I can't do it."

Spike none too gently slapped Xander's cheek. "How many fucking times do I have to tell you? You are fucking doing this!"

Giles quickly painted the hyena onto the floor. "Xander, do you remember the words?"

"Yeah, I remember them," Xander said feebly. He didn't have complete faith in this plan but he would try. For the hyena and for Spike.

"He's back!" Buffy called out.

Dr. Weirick fell out of his car. The transition was complete. He burst out laughing. The hyena was screaming and scrambling but there was nothing she could do. Soon she would learn her place. Right about now Xander Harris would be gasping for breath, choking on the very air in his lungs. Just like in the message the doctor had sent him.

He cursed that Tara girl for wasting his time. She was lucky that the possession didn't take while he was with her or she would have been his first victim. "Statue of Ablis?" Dr. Weirick huffed. "It wasn't even a good replica!" Perhaps after the hyena settled he'd find that slip of a girl and kill her anyway.

The doctor staggered to the front door and pulled out the key. He needed to lie down. The hyena was so much louder than he had anticipated. He felt like his head was going to explode. How did Xander Harris handle it for all those years? It didn't matter though; he was stronger than that little piss-ant.

As soon as he walked into his house he felt something wasn't right and his feeling was confirmed when the door slammed behind him and he heard the chanting. "No!" Dr. Weirick yelled.

"YU BA YA SA NA!" Xander was able to wheeze out. "YU BA YA SA NA!" His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he passed out.

"How did you find me?" Dr. Weirick shouted. He could feel that he was losing the hyena and hear her purring with glee. With all his strength gone Dr. Weirick fell to his knees.

"You underestimated our friends, mate," Spike growled out. He kicked the doctor in the face. "As soon as she's back to where she belongs, believe me when I say you are going to wish those hyenas had killed you."

Xander's body lurched off the floor with a large gasp of air. Bright green eyes flew open.

"Xander?" Spike called out. He backhanded the doctor. "Talk to me, luv."

"He's fine," the hyena said. She stood up.

Spike grabbed the doctor and tossed him to Buffy, ensuring that he wouldn't get away. He then made his way over to Xander. "You're both okay?"

Xander grabbed Spike and kissed him. Everyone had to turn away, feeling like they were imposing for watching such an intimate moment. Xander pulled away, green eyes as bright as ever. "You called me a bitch again," she growled.

"What are you going to do about it?" Spike asked with a leer.

"Could you two… erm, three maybe do this powwow later? We still have this scumbag to deal with!" Willow interrupted them all the while blushing.

The hyena/Xander pushed Spike away and made their way to Buffy who had Dr. Weirick's right arm twisted behind his back.

Dr. Weirick felt sick and weak. He had only had the hyena for minutes and she had drained him. It didn't help that Buffy was all but ripping off his arm. "Take it easy, I am an old man after all." He grunted when Buffy added more pressure.

"Let him go," the hyena ordered. "NOW!"

Buffy released him. "No need to be so rude. I did help after all!"

"Erm… Buffy perhaps you should be quiet," Giles suggested.

Tara opened the door and poked her head in. "I-is everything okay?" She saw Xander standing all by himself in front of Dr. Weirick. "It worked!"

Xander/hyena looked at Tara. "Everything is fine. I'm just thinking of my options."

"I think we should bind his powers," Willow said. "Only someone strong can do those kinds of spells. He won't be a threat anymore." She knew that wouldn't be an option for any of them but the doctor was still human after all. Everyone including Tara stared at her. "I know. I know. I'm just trying to help."

"Don't," the hyena ordered.

Willow slammed her mouth shut.

Spike walked up behind Xander and wrapped his arms around him. "How is he? Is Xander all right?"

"He's fine," the hyena said. "He has no problem having me at the reins if you think I'm keeping him from you."

"I know you wouldn't keep him from me," Spike said softly. He glared down at Dr. Weirick. "What do you want to do with him?"

The hyena smiled, making Dr. Weirick flinch. "We're taking him home."


	7. Chapter 7

Title: No Laughing Matter 7/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Seven**

"Are you sure this is what you want, Xander?" Giles asked. They had gotten back to the house after burning down Dr. Weirick's home. There wasn't enough time to go through the entire house worrying about what other sorts of dangers could be there.

Xander nodded. "The three of us want this. We can't let him go and killing him right now would be letting him get off too easy."

Dr. Weirick had been taken down stairs none to gently by Spike and chained up. A cage would need to be purchased… maybe.

"We'll just keep him around a few days. After all of us have had some fun," Xander continued with a malicious smile.

Shivers went down Giles's back. "Of course."

Just then screams echoed throughout the house. Spike had started without them. Pity.

"I suppose we'd best head back to Sunnydale," Giles continued, pretending he didn't hear the screams. "The hellmouth has been unprotected too long."

"Thank you again for coming," Xander said. "All of you." He dragged Buffy and Willow into a group hug and kissed both their cheeks. Xander then hugged Tara and kissed her forehead. "Thank you."

Tara blushed. "You're welcome."

Next came Giles, they hugged and Giles was grateful that there was no kiss for himself.

"You'll phone as soon as everything is finished, right?" Willow asked. "Don't make me come back here and kick your butt, mister!"

The hyena chuckled. She liked Willow, she was amusing.

"I promise I'll phone you next week," Xander swore.

There were more screams and Buffy had to stop her slayer instincts to run and help. She wouldn't help, not unless it was to help Spike. "Are you sure you don't want me to stick around?"

"No, thanks. This is something we have to do ourselves," Xander explained.

"I know," Buffy replied with a sigh. "I just want to help."

Xander grabbed Buffy's hand. "You did help. All of you did. If it hadn't been for all of you and Spike you'd all be working on your eulogies for my funeral. You know, telling everyone how awesome I was and how I saved all your butts at one time or another," he said with a grin.

Buffy pulled him into a bone creaking hug. The hyena growled in annoyance and Xander told her to shut it. "You guys should go before you miss your flight. I'm sure Spike wouldn't be happy about that."

Willow huffed. "He's just a big bully. It's a good thing he's hot or I wouldn't know what you see in him."

"Where do I start? I'll start with his dick. It's so think and long. Spike makes me see stars when he's pounding into my…" Willow slapped a hand over his mouth, stopping the visuals.

"Okay. Okay. Geez!" Willow grabbed Tara's hand. "We're leaving."

Xander waved them off before closing and locking the door behind him. He went to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of orange juice from the fridge and gulped it down. The basement door opened and Spike's head popped out, his hair a mess.

"They gone?" Spike asked. Xander nodded. "Thank bloody Christ."

"Careful babe, someone might start thinking you're a religious vampire," Xander said jokingly. He wiped his mouth and set the empty bottle on the counter. "How is our guest? Is he nice and comfy?"

Spike snorted. "If you mean by comfy he's hanging from the ceiling and has a few additional injuries."

"So I heard. You brought out the blow torch didn't you?" Xander asked, making his way down the stairs.

"How'd you know?" Spike asked but realized the answer. The hyena was truly back. He hadn't lost either of them.

Dr. Weirick's head was tilted back; the skin on his chest had been burnt and had already begun to blister. "Damn, that must hurt," Xander commented and he pushed on the seared area earning him a loud groan. Xander grabbed him by the hair and brought the doctor's head up. Blood ran down the man's face and Xander immediately figured out that Spike had ripped his tongue out. The hyena was interested to know just how he did that while Xander vetoed ever knowing how it was done.

"He was being too loud," Spike complained. "Don't you worry though, luv, he can still make more than enough noise for our liking."

"Never tell me," Xander ordered. He walked around the basement. He kept his tools down there, much to Spike's complaining. He found his hammer. "You will get rid of the body and it won't be traced back to us, right?" Xander asked running his fingers over the claw of the hammer.

"We got a few demons that owe us favors. They'll get rid of him for us, not a problem," Spike answered.

Xander grinned and proceeded to smash the claw of the hammer into Dr. Weirick's kneecap, shattering it on impact. Dr. Weirick's head flew back with a mangled howl and he coughed as blood slid down his throat.

"Oh, that looked like fun," Spike commented with a smile. His smile grew as Xander crushed the other kneecap. That's his boy!

Xander turned the claw away before slamming it into Weirick's jaw.

"It's gonna be mighty difficult for him to do any sort of moaning now, pet," Spike said, taking the hammer away. It had been used enough.

"Don't need noise. All I want is blood." Green eyes shone brightly.

"Was Xander done?" Spike asked crossing his arms over his chest. "Looked to me he was just getting started."

The hyena shot Spike a look. "He thought I would be better at this. Don't worry, Xander probably has the best seat in the house."

Spike quivered. Bloody hell, he loved Xander but the hyena always gave him a thrill. He couldn't wait. "Go on then. Let's see what you've got." Spike made himself comfortable on a bench.

"I am sure that you'll approve," she said. The hyena grabbed the hammer.

Spike tsked. "Apparently someone wasn't paying attention. Xander's already played with that," he told the hyena.

"He used it to break bones. I on the other hand have no intention of doing that," she told Spike. A sigh from Dr. Weirick gained her attention. "Maybe you're right though." Setting down the hammer the hyena ran her hands over the different tools. Finally she stopped and picked up the nail gun. "Better?"

"Better," Spike confirmed. He stretched his legs out and crossed them at the ankle. "Continue."

The hyena rolled her eyes. She made sure the gun had nails in it. "This really isn't safe, you know." She swung her hand around that held the gun. "Just one little touch and it can go off." The gun was then pointed at Weirick's shoulder and the trigger was pulled and a single nail was imbedded in the doctor's shoulder. She turned to Spike. "See?"

"I'm sure we can talk to Xander about that. I'd hate to have him accidently shoot himself into the foot," Spike said. He then raised his eyebrow. "I hope that isn't all you've got."

There was a loud huff of annoyance. "No!"

Dr. Weirick was sobbing. Spike quickly stood and wrapped his hand around his throat. "Shut the fuck up!" His demon was out in full. "Anything you get is what you bloody deserve! Now suck it up and take it like the man you think you are!" Spike turned to Xander/hyena who was scowling at him. "Continue, pet!" he said cheerfully.

The hyena grabbed Spike by the shoulders pushed him back to the bench and forced him to sit. "We can do this without you!" she growled. Spike pouted. The hyena rolled her eyes when Xander told her to kiss Spike or she couldn't play anymore. "Humans! Fine, romance first then torture." Spike was grabbed by the back of his neck and his lips were smashed against Xander's. The kiss was long and passionate. Finally she pulled away. "Better?" she asked both of them.

"Do I get more later?" Spike asked innocently as he let his hands wander over the back of Xander's thighs. Dr. Weirick was forgotten. His hands were smacked away and the hyena was back to work.

"Did you know that originally Xander didn't want to get into construction?" the hyena told Spike has he picked up a drill and screwed in a twisted drill bit with cutting edges.

Spike tilted his head. "Really? Why was that?"

"He thought he wasn't capable. Our boy thought that he'd be flipping burgers until he died," the hyena said. "Not that he doesn't make one hell of a burger but he never thought he had any potential."

"But you helped him," Spike stated.

The hyena pressed the drill against Dr. Weirick's pelvis and turned it on. It was pretty dull so it took a little more pressure to really get it into the bone. The Doctor tried to get away but the chains held him in place.

"I did. He helped the slayer carve stakes, fix bookshelves, tables and windows. I knew he would be successful. And I was right." She finally ripped the drill out when it could go in no further. Dr. Weirick's head fell forward when he passed out.


	8. Chapter 8

Title: No Laughing Matter 8/8  
>Author: Forsaken2003<br>Pairing: Spike/Xander  
>Rating: R<br>Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon  
>Comments: Always welcomed!<br>Summary: Sequel to Brand New Us. Xander receives a strange package. When he opens it he and the hyena now have to fight to stay alive and Spike has to find out who it is trying to take his mate from him.  
>WarningsSpoilers: Season 5  
>Beta'd by: Whichclothes <p>

**Part Eight**

The next few days flew by. The torture of Dr. Weirick kept them busy. They all got into using the tools on the doctor. Only once every single tool had been used on the man did they decide they were done with him.

Xander stood in front of Dr. Weirick who could barely see him because two days ago they had used hot glue gun and glued his eyes open. Because he couldn't blink everything became blurry.

"Looks like we're done with you," Xander commented to him.

Spike walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Xander. "You sure you don't want me to turn him? Keep him around a little longer?"

Xander scrunched up his nose. "No, we're bored. Also I really need to get back to work and you have to start doing all that master stuff that you do so well. Besides, he's starting to smell."

"How do you want it done, luv?" Spike asked.

"Want a snack?" Xander inquired. "Not sure if he'll taste good."

Spike took a deep breath. The smell of fear was still in the air. It made his mouth water. "I'm sure I can handle it. You sure you or the hyena don't want to do it? We really have to think about naming her you know."

Xander snorted. "She isn't a pet."

"Then she can name herself. Something we can actually pronounce would be nice." Spike kissed Xander's neck before pulling away.

Dr. Weirick didn't even struggle when his head was yanked to the side. He had been hoping for death for so long. Why couldn't they understand that the power should have been his? He would have done so many wonderful things. He'd have been a god and people would have feared and loved him. A loud gasp left his lips as Spike sank his teeth into his flesh and literally sucked the life out of him.

In Spike's opinion the doctor's blood tasted sour. It must have been all dark magic that tainted his blood. Only when Dr. Weirick's heart stopped bleeding and he went limp did Spike retract his fangs and back away. He spat out the remaining blood. "Bloody disgusting!"

"Sorry babe," Xander cooed. He tilted his head, inviting Spike in for a sip or two. "Want me to make it up to you?" Before Xander could blink he was in Spike's embrace with Spike's face nuzzled against Xander's throat. "That a yes?"

"You're sure you're up for it? It's only been a few days since that bastard almost killed you," Spike mumbled against the skin.

The hyena purred at Spike's affection. It had been days since they've had sex. Spike had been worrying over them, afraid they were pushing their limits and maybe they should sit down and rest a bit. He was rewarded with a smack to the back of the head from both Xander and the hyena.

"I'm sure, Spike. I wanted it… we need it." Xander gripped Spike by the hair. "Do it!"

Not having to be told a third time, Spike sank his teeth into the tender flesh. A moan escaped his throat as he drank. Reminding himself that he couldn't take too much Spike managed to pull himself away. "Fuck, pet, you have no idea what you do to me."

"I think I have an idea," Xander whispered. He quickly shed his bloodied clothes, his cock hard and ready.

"On your knees in front of the bench," Spike ordered huskily. When Xander did as he was told Spike pushed on his back, making Xander's stomach lie across the bench and his hands on the concrete floor held him up. "Perfect." Spike ran his finger over Xander's hole.

Xander groaned and Spike tortured him but pushing in slightly and then pulling out. All he could think was why wasn't Spike fucking him already?

Spike played for a few minutes, driving both Xander and the hyena crazy. "Do you want more, lovely?"

"You know we do!" Xander growled. He was given a smack on his rear end.

"Say please," Spike purred, pushing his finger in all the way wiggling until he found Xander's prostate.

Xander howled. "PLEASE!"

"That wasn't so hard was it?" Spike commented. He pulled his finger out and stripped down after pulling out a tube of lube. "Speaking of hard." Spike wrapped his hand around Xander's shaft and gave it a few strokes. "Nice and hard just for me."

"Spike…" Xander warned.

Deciding it was best to move things along before the hyena decided to take control, Spike squirted a generous amount of lube into his hand and slicked up his cock. "Don't you worry; Spike's going to take care of both of you." He guided his cock into Xander's hole. When he was pushed in all the way Spike gripped onto Xander's hips and started moving.

It wasn't fast and rough but gentle and slow, which shocked Xander considering Spike's domineering attitude just minutes before. Xander realized what Spike was doing. He was memorizing the feel of Xander. "We're not going anywhere."

"Shush," Spike said. "Just let me, yeah?" He pushed in and out of Xander.

Xander decided that as long as Spike was doing that he could do whatever he wanted.

With one hand on Xander's hips Spike's other one ran over Xander's back and up to his shoulders. His fingers raked through thick dark hair. "Tell me," Spike murmured.

"Tell you what?" Xander moaned.

"Tell me that you love me," Spike answered. "Tell me you won't leave me." Another thrust.

Xander groaned and arched his back. "I love you. We love you and we aren't going anywhere."

Pleased by the response, Spike sank his teeth into Xander's neck again. This time it was to reclaim what was his. A silent promise that he would protect them and do a better job of it.

Both came at the same time.

With a contented sigh Spike slipped out of Xander. "We'd best get this mess cleaned up."

"Yeah, we don't want the basement smelling of decay. It's a bitch to get rid of it," Xander confirmed. "You making the call to get rid of him?"

"I suppose so," said Spike. He dressed quickly and made his way to the stairs.

"Assaggi," Xander called out.

Spike stopped and stared at Xander. "Excuse me?"

"The hyena, her name is Assaggi," Xander explained. "It means strong."

"Assaggi." Spike rolled it around in his mouth. "I like it. But I'm still calling her bitch," he declared and left to make the call.

Xander sighed and shook his head. "I know. I know. I tried," Xander told the hyena. "Just don't hurt him too much; we don't want him sulking for a week again."

If having a hyena inside his head for years didn't drive Xander over the edge he was sure he could survive her and Spike fighting. God help him when he was turned!

The End


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